by Angela Baker

So like, I’m a hardcore radical leftist. I’m anti-war, anti-imperialist, anti-militarism, anti-Zionism, etc. I marched against BusHitler’s war on Iraq in 2003, Obomber’s drone wars, and I’ll march against anything the US military does anywhere for any reason at any time, because I know the difference between right and wrong, and I’ll always be on the side of peace.

Sadly, it seems many of my radical leftist friends have been watching CNN and Fox News to get their information about Russia, so naturally they know next to nothing about the country or its brave president, Vladimir Putin. I keep telling them: If you want to understand Russia, you can’t get your information from the lying Western mainstream media like CNN, Fox, BBC, Channel 4, Al Jazeera, Deutsche Welle, The Telegraph, The Guardian, Buzzfeed, France 24, CBC, or the NY Times. What you go to is either Russia Today or Sputnik News. I don’t recommend going to Russia Insider, because I suspect that is really a US State Department-funded liberal opposition project meant to make Russia and its supporters look stupid. Stick with RT and Sputnik and you’ll be in the know.

So what should American leftists know about Russia? Well first a few comparisons are in order:

In Russia, women have better access to abortion than in America. 

Yes, women are more liberated in Russia. I can tell because I’m always reading stories about church people and Duma members calling for more restrictions on abortion. They wouldn’t be trying to restrict it if it wasn’t more widespread. Sure, abortion could be banned entirely in Russia if Putin decided to give into populism and side with religious conservatives in the country, but I can’t imagine that ever happening.

In Russia they have free health care.

I don’t really know much about the Russian health care system, and I haven’t been to Russia, but I know that people there don’t pay for healthcare. I’m sure it’s fine.

Wealth inequality is worse in America.

As many of my fellow Occupy Wall Street protesters no doubt remember, in America the top 1% own 40% of the national wealth. But in Russia 110 individuals own 35% of the national wealth. That means America’s 1% owns five percent MORE wealth than Russia’s top 1%!

Russia stands up for self-determination against colonization.

Russia cares about the global south and people’s self-determination everywhere. That’s why it supports parties and organizations that are for national self-determination. For example, they supported Gaddafi and his Green Socialists in Libya before they were butchered by the Islamic terrorists who were backed by NATO airstrikes. They back Bashar Assad’s secular, legitimate government in Syria. They also back lots of other national self-determination movements such as Golden Dawn (I think it’s like African or something), Jobbik (India?), and Front Nationale (Quebec, right?). They are the main foundation of the Eurasianist movement, which has the word Asian in it, thus representing the global south.

When it comes to opposing globalization and the US global hegemony, leftists need to stop being so sectarian and start helping Russia build a multipolar world with global south nations such as Brazil and China.

When Putin says he’s killing terrorists, he means it.

Bush invaded Afghanistan and Iraq and killed millions. Obama expanded the drone war into Pakistan and other countries. They claim they are killing terrorists, but who is stupid enough to believe Western politicians?

On the other hand, Putin says he’s killing ISIS terrorists, and he’s actually doing it. According to the Russian Ministry of Defense, in the first 24 hours of Russian bombing, over 500 ISIS targets were obliterated without a single civilian casualty.

Now that’s a War on Terror  I can get behind.

How do I know that they’re telling the truth and we can trust Putin? Well our leaders are, of course, pathological liars. At the same time, they criticize Putin. This means Putin must be telling the truth.

Basic logic, people. Duh.

About the gay thing.

If you listen to the Western mainstream media, you’d think they roast gays alive in Russia. This is not true. Gays and lesbians enjoy the same rights as all other citizens, as long as they never openly tell people they are gay and follow all the regulations passed against them by the Russian government. If you break the law in America, you get arrested. Why should Russia be any different?

Besides, there area  lot of other places in the world where gays face even worse discrimination, in fact persecution. Some American states still allow discrimination against gays and lesbians. So while you continue to fight against those injustices at home, remember to stop criticizing Russia about it.

Besides, we have to think about priorities. What’s more important? Gays and lesbians having equal rights? Or destroying the US global hegemony by supporting Russia’s government and its geopolitical goals?

You think Russia is authoritarian? Think again.

Some of my brainwashed friends say that Putin is authoritarian. Nothing can be further from the truth. The only people who criticize Putin’s regime are Russophobes who hate Russia and the Russian people. The reason Putin is still in charge of Russia is because Russians are more spiritual and backward than Western people. If they don’t have a strong leader to keep them in line, chaos will ensue.

And as for those protesters and opposition groups you hear about, you have to keep in mind two facts. First, these groups are all funded by the CIA, with the intent of changing the regime through violence. Remember how the CIA overthrew the democratically elected government of Chile? Same thing. Secondly, and I should say luckily, these groups are pitifully unpopular and barely even known outside the capital. Still, they represent a dangerous fifth column and thus Putin is forced to keep a tight leash on them.

What about all those military parades?

Being anti-militarist and anti-imperialist, it might seem odd that I support Russia with its constant military parades, exercises, and conscription. If that seems odd to you, stop watching CNN and Fox, dummy!

Russia’s military is defensive, not offensive. They were defending innocent people in the Crimea, which was actually Russian since Ukraine is a fake country invented by the Nazis in 1941. They were defending people in the Dombass when they didn’t send any troops or weapons but told the world about the murderous punitive campaign of the Ukrainian army and sent only humanitarian aid. They are defending innocent people in Syria when they bomb the terrorists.

And what about those military parades? Russia is just celebrating the fact that it saved the world from fascism in 1945. And the WWI reenactments? They’re just celebrating their anti-imperialist war on behalf of Serbia. Just because Russia used to be called an empire doesn’t mean it was actually imperialist. It was only defending its territory the whole time.

What about racism in Russia?

Russia doesn’t have black people or Latinos so how could they be racist? Some ultra-leftist sectarian types say it’s racist when Russians make fun of Obama and call him a monkey. Yeah, sure, it sounds racist, and it would be racist if it were in America. But you see in Russia it’s different. Many Russians go abroad to Thailand, where there are monkeys that steal anything they can get from tourists. So when Russians refer to Obama as a monkey, what they’re really saying is that he’s like a thief, trying to rob Russia of its resources. It’s totally not racist and you’re probably racist for inferring that connotation.

The enemy of my enemy is my Best Friend Forever.

These days all you have to ask yourself is who does the mainstream Western media and our leaders hate, and that tells you who you should support. If our leaders are liars, and they attack Vladimir Putin, he must be telling the truth. How hard is this to understand. Like I said before, basic logic, people.

So you folks on the left should stop listening to propaganda about Russia, whether it’s exaggerated corruption and poverty or far right-wing extremists supported by the Russian government. We must stand with Russia and Putin to fight the power. No more blood for oil. No more wars except Putin’s victorious war against ISIS.

#SaveDombasspeople

Angela Baker is a college activist and journalist who blogs about world politics. Her foreign policy expertise includes a backpacking trip from Paris to Amsterdam during her sophomore year at Columbia University. She speaks fluent English and can order Mexican food in Spanish. She dreams of one day moving to Russia so she can take advantage of the free healthcare system to get laser surgery for her eyes. She has also threatened to protest nude in front of the White House if the US doesn’t lift the sanctions against Russia by 1 January 2016.