Brawl in Rada: “The Ukraine” PM Arseniy Yatsenyuk revealed to be gay jihadist

“KIEV” – The Prime Minister of the imaginary country sometimes referred to as “The Ukraine” was revealed to be an adherent of homosexual jihad during a brawl in the  “the Ukrainian” parliament.

As recently as last year, independent sources confirmed that PM Arseniy Yatsenyuk, a member of the “the Ukrainian” fascist junta, fought against the Russians in Chechnya.

Photographic evidence of Yatsenyuk’s extremist activities, as dug up by our intern Geoff, includes the following:

yatseniuk in grozny
The original caption reads: “Grozny ’95”. Can we say “smoking gun”?
bullet in the head
The original caption reads: “If it’s a bullet to the head, then it’s a bullet to the head!” – a famous saying Yatsenyuk was confirmed to have uttered during the Nazi revolution in “the Ukraine.”

Following his bloody rampage in Chechnya, Yatsenyuk, apparently grew bored with ordinary jihad and decided to go for hybrid jihad. And according to the experts, nothing is more hybrid than gay jihad.

“Gay jihad has that element of surprise,” American political analyst Karl Binbottom confirmed to us by phone from a dark corner of his room in a suburban basement. “When you think ‘jihadist,’ you think ‘guy who probably doesn’t like penis, at least not publicly.’ But that’s EXACTLY what they WANT you to think. That is how these extremists who love satsuma scrubs as much as they love grenade launchers and Sharia trick you.”

Caught on camera today, this shocking footage of Yatsenyuk reenacting a famous scene from the movie Titanic with a fellow “the Ukrainian” parliamentarian whose name we couldn’t be bothered to look up, confirmed our deepest fears:

“I’m flying [insert name of obscure “the Ukrainian” politician here, Geoff-editor]!”
At this point, it’s obvious to even the most casual of observers that “the Ukraine” is in desperate trouble . Or it would be, if it were a real country.

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