The Russian government has issued a statement strongly condemning the nihilist, lesbian, and probably Islamofascist anti-Trump protesters and recommends they been beaten, gassed and shot before they can damage President Trump’s ascendency to platinum VIP kompromat* plus status.

For years Russian media has promoted anarchist and anti-capitalist protesters around the US and the world. Speaking to one noble civil rights activist, Rocky Rushmore, back in 2014, loyal Kremlin journalists identified the root of Russia’s unbreakable ideological bond to the resistance movement in the United States:

“Obama is just a fat cat oligarch,” Rushmore said. “His promises are empty as he is in thrall to the Wall Street illuminati. He doesn’t care about the American people. He is a divisive presence here and abroad. We want a revolution, and anarcho-syndicalist communes across the territory of the former United States of America.” 

Now, in 2017, loyal Kremlin journalists have heard from one of the despicable thugs, Rocky Rushmore, trying to bring down the noble Trump White House:

“Trump is just a fat cat oligarch,”Rushmore said. “His promises are empty as he is in thrall to the Wall Street illuminati. He doesn’t care about the American people. He is a divisive presence here and abroad. We want a revolution, and anarcho-syndicalist communes across the territory of the former United States of America.” 

The mind boggles at the treachery of U.S. protesters.

Help us end this scourge on America’s great democracy. Sign the petition posted on the White House fence calling for Russian troops to be allowed into the US to defend American hero Donald Trump.

The Kremlin will never stand by while national interests** are undermined by protesters who don’t yet have their livers smeared on the tarmac.

*Kompromat is the ancient art of trusting one’s secrets to the Kremlin and hoping it works out for the best (which it always does. Why wouldn’t it?)

**Russian national interests