Pathetic U.S. military display shows Pentagon struggling to stay ahead

As we’ve already reported at Russia in Your Face!!! the Kremlin has at its disposal an invincible array of new VV Weapons, including a 3-barrelled assault rifle.

Alas, despite military spending fifty times greater than that entire rest of the world combined three times over, the United States of America’s arms procurement programs have utterly failed it.

At a recent military parade in Moscow held to celebrate the imminent creation of a Russian lead world alliance against terror*, the U.S. military delegation was a crushing embarrassment for U.S. President Barack Obama and a humbling disappointment for the Pentagon and its desire for world domination.

While Russia paraded nuclear missiles, the latest tanks and troops carrying its recently invented 3 barrelled assault rifle other nations sent guest military formations to parade as well.

Iran sent 10,000 of its Republican guard armed with the nearly latest Russian weapons. North Korea sent 10,000 elite shock troops armed with slightly less up to date Russian weapons. China sent 10,000 smartly uniformed troops armed with old copies of Russian weapons.

The only other nation that managed to send any troops was the United States of America due to all other western nations falling foul of visa irregularities. But due to visa irregularities the American formation was not only late, but also a cause for red faces in the White House.

The American ‘First Armoured Division’ apparently. He even had to ask for directions.

One man in a medieval suit of armour was all America could manage to muster. What message that was supposed to send to the world, all of whose eyes were glued to screens watching Russian state TV coverage of the parade, is anyone’s guess. But Yury Rasamakhov from the Moscow based Lower School of International Loathing had a go,

“This clearly shows that while America is the most dangerous and rapacious military threat to world security with their drones and blood hungry marines massacring on average a town a day, it also clearly shows that America is a broken basket case facing imminent collapse and hardly ably to hurt a fly,” he said.

Barack Obama was presumably too humiliated to comment.


*the Kremlin has the right to define any person, organisation, body, or bodies, ‘terrorist’ or ‘fascist’ if it or they are seen as threatening, potentially, actually or in perpetuity, the aforementioned Kremlin’s interests, avowed or unavowed. The Kremlin accepts no responsibility for collateral damage, unintended or intended casualties or loss of belongings in the course of its operations to eliminate aforesaid terrorists and/or fascists. (

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