America has already collapsed in a parallel universe —physicist

The United States might collapse any day now, but in some universes the Evil Empire has already fallen apart, or never even existed in the first place. That’s according to Preston Pakluski, the physicist, producer and socially conscious rapper who drops science both in and outside of the lab.

“Yo man, s**t be crazy! Like, did you realize that the number of alternative universes might be endless,” Pakluski,  better known by his stage name Icky Icke, told RIYF during an exclusive interview at the Wizard Lizard Tavern in downtown Cleveland, Ohio.

Pakluski is referring to what’s been called the multiverse theory, a hypothetical set of potentially infinite universes including our own. When asked how he stumbled upon the idea that the imminent collapse of America has long since occurred in a parallel realm, Pakluski said the scientific method had led him and his research assistants to their conclusions.

“So you know how me and my boys like to do, fire up some of ‘dat good sticky icky, start watching YouTube down in the lab, and drop mad rhymes. Well this time, when I was free-stylin’ about how da Rothschild-Illuminanti trilateral commissars had brought down the twin towers, this dude in one of these videos started talking about how anything you could imagine happening has already happened in a parallel realm.

My boy Skinny Vinny tried to switch over to World Star Vine Compilations, and I was like ‘B****, don’t be f***ing with the dial. Hommie be dropping mad science right now. It was at that moment when I realized, yo, imagine if America had like already collapsed in one of those other worlds and we were like born in others countries, speaking other languages and s***. We were straight trippin’ after that.”

RIYF asked for a tour of the lab, located in the basement of a quiet two-story private residence in Newburgh Heights. The state-of-the-art facility was adorned with scrolls containing phosphors which glowed when exposed to ultraviolet light, a state of the art Dell Alienware M15x and the wide bandwidth data transmission necessary to conduct experiments in real time. An assortment of beakers and other glassware showed that Pakluski was a serious lab scientist as well as the socially conscious voice of a generation.

“Yeah man, I think I always had a thing for science,” Pakluski said when the RIYF crew admired his formidable set up.

“Our high school like had this really good honors physics program, which I never took to be honest, but I was there when lots of crazy s**t was going down.”

Fascinated by his theories, we asked Pakluski how he could be so certain that America had already collapsed? 

“Well, the thing is, you see, the universe be infinite right, and the multiverse is like a whole bunch of universes stacked on top of each other, like a seven layer burrito from Taco Bell. All of the layers be different, but like, they are all there inside of one wrapped up tortilla shell.  That s**t’s crazy to think about,” he said.

F*** I got the munchies yo,” he continued. “Order me some of that s*** man, I can’t be explaining this to you when I wanna get my eat on.”

Icky Icke will be performing live in the parking lot of B Side Liquor Lounge & Arcade in Cleveland on Friday, January 8 at 9:00 pm. Admission is free.