In Western culture, lawyers are hated. Check out lawyer jokes and the film “Devil’s Advocate” if you don’t believe us (we know what you’re going to say – there’s boobs in that movie, so how can it objectively be bad, but boobs don’t solve every problem with plot and Al Pacino’s tendency to ham it up when left unchecked). Yet for some reason – that reason being abject hypocrisy – Russia is not allowed to have the same disdain for a hated profession. 

Just consider the Western media’s hissy fit over inter-regional lawyers’ association Agora being declared a “foreign agent” in Russia.

Boo hoo, a bunch of ambulance chasers (they help “torture victims,” which just figures) were exposed for we are pretty sure was swimming in a bottomless pit of greasy U.S. dollars parachuted in by B-52 bombers.

Sure, they may have stopped taking foreign money – but they still want to sow discord by turning Russia, an ancient country with its own fine legal traditions such as impaling trouble-makers who displease the tsar, into a “Law & Order”-like dystopia with its “due process” and “no beating confessions out of local drunks whom nobody’s going to miss anyway” and other legalese nonsense.

Would the Western media ever ask you to trust ambulance chasers *in the West*? No.

A similar outrage is happening around the death of Russian dissident (i.e. traitor) Boris Nemtsov, who got shot for sleeping with the wrong model (this is unfortunate – but it also happens all the time in front of the Kremlin), and whose relatives have now hired – guess who? – that’s right, more LAWYERS, who are trying to prove that Chechen officials close to Ramzan Kadyrov were somehow in on it.

READ MORE: Chechnya’s Kadyrov threatens bloodbath if Islamic State advances

Kadyrov, of course, hangs out with Jean-Claude Van Damme, who plays the good guy in every movie he stars in. Basic logic therefore rules out Kadyrov and his merry men as potential suspects.

So next time you see the Western press getting its pantyhose in a twist because some poor Russian lawyers somewhere have been banned from doing their “jobs,” or got a “motion denied,” or were sent a dead horse’s head or something, just remember that in America, it’s perfectly acceptable for Shakespeare to write “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,” and not even get prosecuted for hate speech or have social “justice” warriors start a Twitter campaign against him.

Do as I say, not as I do, right?